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Xshia'zea'sh'kaebt-Lea'yi'elih-zael'va'tielih-ng'yehaer'llw'aetaght'litagehph-Ht'uim'aeng'ytagyeh Taght'ehshht'yng'yng'gl-tagr'laeph'ehts'liht'ehct'r'lling
"This is so sad. Alaska play desk poor cheeto" ~''Him, in response to virtually any situation'' Summary Alright, you stinky bois have waited long enough. You may know that I am an eldritch abomination that exists within the void itself, but you have never heard the story of my journey to this site. Well, wait no longer, for here it is. A long time ago, me and a fucc infant attempted to make a page on FC/OC Battles, but apparently "The Chronically Depressed Guy" is not allowed as a profile. Luckily, the Admin who deleted it said it was good and sent me a copy of the entire profile, which is now here. And now, since there is a lot of free time out here in the infinite void, I decided to stick myhands where they don't belong, and now I'm doing a thing. In a place. At a time. Powers and Stats Tier: '''At least '''10-C, possibly 10-B '''| At least '''High Memetic, likely far higher. Higher '''with time '''Name: Xshia'zea'sh'kaebt-Lea'yi'elih-zael'va'tielih-ng'yehaer'llw'aetaght'litagehph-Ht'uim'aeng'ytagyeh Taght'ehshht'yng'yng'gl-tagr'laeph'ehts'liht'ehct'r'lling, "T H O T H S L A Y E R" by most users, "Triple X" by Crabwhale (A weird choice, as his name contains only 1 X in it), "Waste of Life" by all family members, "Mistake" by people who pass him by on the street, T H O T S L A Y E R (Title used as persona, though he is in fact a disgrace to the family honour), T H O T H S L A Y E R (By Orror), T S by MaxForward Origin: His mother's vagina (Yes, I regret this) Gender: Inapplicable, referred to as male Age: 31.9 Cycles (''Y E S years old)'' Classification: Mistake, Failure, Eldritch Abomination, Creator of shit JBW pages, T H O T S L A Y E R (Inherited the title from his Four Fathers nohomo) Powers and Abilities: Yes Physical Characteristics | No Physical Characteristics (Has no corporeal form), Immortality (Type 40), Mistake Manipulation (Casually created these pages), Regeneration (True-Failure. Regenerated from his parent's disappointment, though not fully), Conceptual Manipulation (Made some fucking dreadful ideas for his profiles), Gay Manipulation (Passively made Uselessnoob's comment gay with one of his profiles), Creation (Made countless shitty and meaningless profiles, including an infinitely weaker version of The Gulag), Disease Manipulation (His mere existence caused this otherwise respectable thread to devolve into cancer, spawning off three more strains that ravaged the wiki afterwards), Necromancy (Can puppet dead memes to instil cringe and the desire to die in his victims), Virginity Manipulation (Beings that interact with him steadily reacquire their virginity, and their romantic partners leave them. Even beings that are already virgins become even bigger virgins), Curse Manipulation (Created links to this and this and this), Thread Decay (His memes cause threads to rapidly decay, eventually forcing them to die or shut down from all the spam and cringe), Power Mimicry (Can mimic any meme he sees at a mere glance), Consequent Chair Manipulation (Has assimilated the Bart hitting Homer with a chair meme enough to generate chair at will), Autism Manipulation and Immunity to it (As an autist himself, he is able to call anyone he wants an autist, instantly invalidating their arguments and abilities. Furthermore, this same trick cannot work on him as calling him autistic is just a fact and you'll just look like a dick), Dimensional Manipulation (Able to casually rip memes from different tabs and pull them to the Paradox threads with little effort), High Resistance to Spam, Cringe, Weirdness, and Roast attacks (As shown on the Paradox Threads), Reality Manipulation (Universal scale. Each page and thread on JBW can be perceived as it's own separate universe with it's own space-time. Has complete control over everything in his pages), Void Manipulation (Hakai'd a thread) Attack Potency: At least Below average human level, possibly Average Human Level '''(I'm a human, but I have no feats, so yeah) | At least '''High Memetic, likely far higher''' (Should be comparable to Pre-Discussion Moderator Crabwhale, albeit slightly weaker. Responsible for the initial outbreak of cancer that eventually became the paradox threads, and later propagated it, though to a lesser degree than others). '''Higher with time (The cancer in his memes is self-propagating and amplifying, meaning they will spread and grow more powerful forever, their range and destructive potential growing with every passing second), can bypass conventional durability and Gay shields by saying "Your're home of secular". '''Speed: Unknown' (Apparently my friends say I'm an absurdly fast walker) |''' Z O O M S P E E D '(Is a quick boi. Can make it through all the Paradox Threads really quickly) Lifting strength not included because who the fuck cares '''Striking Strength: This is literally just AP but with fists' Durability: This is just his AP but reversed '''(Comparable to Crabwhale, Who endured the destruction of JBW twice) '''Stamina: '''Pathetic (Impossible to judge as I have yet to push myself, but I can walk pretty far) '''Range: '''Surprisingly, nobody ever details distance, so it doesn't matter '''Standard Equipment: '''What the fuck would he have, he's an eldritch boi '''Intelligence: '''Smart boi (Was involved in a complex existential debate with Crabwhale for a time, until they both tired of such a child's farce, and moved onto more pointless important things.) '''Weaknesses: '''No combat ability or experience. Complete fucking wimp. Really doesn't care if his opponent wounds or kills him. Indifferent. The One Above All (Just like my Manos) '''Notable Attacks/Techniques: * Meme Generation: '''Like all the others on the Paradox Threads, he is capable of generating a near-endless amount of memes. Memes, in turn, generate an amount of a certain phenomena, depending on the quality of the meme. These phenomena are typically negative (Like cringe, entropy, and disgust), though some are positive (Like laughter, kinship, and similar emotions), and will generate more of that phenomena the longer they are around. In his case, his memes are among the least pure and as such, generate near endless amounts of negative phenomena, namely, thread cancer. Even one meme can be destructive enough to distort the past, present, and future, simultaneously, as seen here. '''Key: Real World | On JBW Masterpieces (Full Gallery) Other things Notable Victories: TheDarkSide857 (For a long time, the battle was left undecided, but in the rematch of the century, long names were proven to be superior to edginess) Thoth (Ancient Egyptian Deity. Orror keeps saying I've slain him, apparently) Thots (Colon thinking colon) Notable Losses: Maxforward (Here. Did not even try to resist, and just let it happen) Crabwhale (Here. After a very one-sided battle, Crabwhale triumphed and became the ultimate winner of Not-Paradox 4. However, Crabs acknowledged that T H O T S L A Y E R's memes were worse) Inconclusive Matches: [https://joke-battles.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:74457#32 Orror SANESS ](He Hakai'd the discussion, leaving it without a true victor) Orror's Profile or maybe not, he's got two Category:Mistakes Category:Spooky Category:Deletethis Category:Shortest name on the wiki Category:Least spam in existence Category:JBW Users Category:Gay Category:Cringe Category:Om Abokya Beiroshano Makabodara Mani Handoma Jinbara Harabaritaya Un. Category:Eldritch Horrors Category:Eldritch Abominations Category:Self Users Category:T H O T S L A Y E R's Mistakes Category:Characters with long names